An opinion about the "affair fog"

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Today, 03:49 PM	? #7 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: May 2012 Location: Near Chicago, USA Posts: 1,163	Quote: I always interpretted the fog to be the fantasy. You know the your great, I'm great, destiny, soul mates etc. The fog relates to many relationships besides affairs. Think back to when you first met your SO. Before all the flaws and day to day life. Exactly. That's why I agree with Complexity's post. Okay so we all know about dopamine and phenethylamine and oxytocin and all the love chemicals. So that just proves they were falling in love. They chose to date while married and then fell in love. Maybe with another liar and deceiver, but maybe they like looking in that mirror and seeing themselves reflected back. The fog is Bulldokey. After Dday I asked my husband if he would be okay with us having an open relationship so I can have some new love feelings too. He went ballistic. So they know dating while married is treading on treacherous turf.
?

Today, 03:56 PM	? #9 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: May 2012 Location: Near Chicago, USA Posts: 1,163	Quote: .. I saw a quote on another forum that has really stuck with me, it was in regards to a WS who declared their undying love to their online AP.....and this posters response was...... "that is one elastic definition of love, one stretched so thin as to become meaningless"........ How do we feel important to them when at one time we were considered "throw away" for the AP. I stuggled with feeling less than and used and all manner of other issues. The fact is if the affair was meaningless. (my OW tried that bulldokey on me too) Than that is very insulting. They risked a good relationship for one that is meaningless. As far as being thrown away, the cheater also throws the affair partner away once outed. IMO, cheaters are the type that throw people away when they no longer meet their every need. A high percentage of cheaters have personality disorders. Most of these are not curable. One book I read likened an affair to a car crash. The author said, in the aftermath everyone crawls out bloody, or dying or scarred for life. Adult minds realize that and choose not to bring a third party into a marriage.
?

Find a Therapist:

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/55260-opinion-about-affair-fog.html

miranda kerr adriana lima victoria secret angels fox 4 fox 4 vs fashion show 2011 victoria secret fashion show